By cwhyte, Mar 18 2018 10:08AM
We all have a story with our Mother. Having no Mother doesn't except us. The stories are as varied as a patchwork quilt, as we are, and we all have our story.
Many of us are defined by these stories in clear ways or in ways that we don't easily acknowledge. Everyone has had a Mother. Even when we step away from our stories the story remains, we just become less engaged in the story.
At this time of year I like to re-read, and dip into Clarissa Pinkola Estes, I like her definitions of mothers.
I agree with her thoughts that none of us need a perfect Mother just a good enough Mother.
So what if you have a 'not enough' or a 'too much' mother, what if yours was 'good enough' or perfect for you, eventually we all need to become our own Mothers; and our own Fathers too.
How do we even do that?
One method that I absolutely love is the blanket.
Picture the archetypal Mother, the Mother every baby deserves: Strength, full of love, giving, nurturing. Hold the image or feeling that you get for each word. If any of those give you discomfort take a second to think why then let them go and replace them with other Positive definitions, leave no place for discomfort or unpleasantness, you're aiming for feelings of security, being held, boundless love.
If your experiences with your own mother fall away from the archetype, then look to your relationships with others who have provided you with that experience, for some this may be the love and care you have given to a child. You deserve the same for yourself.
For each sensation, imagine that you have made or been given a patchwork square, it could have a picture, a pattern, words, sounds, anything that resonates with you. Connect your squares so they start to form a small blanket. Make it as big as you can, it doesn't really matter if it's just a facecloth.
It's your gift to yourself from the mother in you to the child in you. Whenever you feel inclined, summon up those yummy feelings and add more squares to your imaginary blanket until you can just sit with it wrapped around you feeling all that love and care whenever you need it , in the way you need it.